I am always amazed at how time flies.....

WOW! It has been awhile since I've written anything that isn't about Credit Unions, isn't a thank you card (which I am not very good at all about doing) or a grocery list....I am welcoming myself back to the wonderful world of blogging; and, if I'm lucky, you will welcome me back too - if not - oh well....I'm still gonna do my thing!

Since I went missing back in August, we have completed our kitchen (love it), my husband made it through an entire NFL season WITHOUT fantasy football, but nonetheless $600 poorer (thanks New England & Wes Walker), Jayden my 5 year old, started kindergarten and Brodie turned 2 (she'll tell you she is 4). Life is ok. No ranting necessary. I might need to change the title of this blog....

Okay, so I am not changing the title -- end of discussion. If you know me, you know I ALWAYS have something to rant about.  I am a "wanna be" New York Jewish martyr - we always have something to bitch about. FYI - I say "wanna be" with the utmost respect. My mother is a New York Jewish martyr - non practicing, has never practiced and in fact was raised Methodist (or Protestant) - but her heritage is Jewish and she is a New Yorker - so close enough for these purposes.....

Funny story on a not so funny topic. When I was pregnant with Jayden my husband and I were told we were both carriers of the gene that could cause our child to have Tay-Sachs, a horrible disease. A child can only get Tay-Sachs by inheriting it. The genetic trait is relatively common among certain ethnic groups, such as Ashkenazi Jews. When I told my mother this she said, and I quote "But we don't even celebrate." She meant Jewish holidays; and I will take this moment to say I think she was shell shocked that we were carriers and she is NOT a dumb woman.

By the way, if you read this and run into my mother, mums the word that I just described her that way and used that example. Anyway (sigh)....moving on now....

Maybe I should change this blog to "Funny Stories from a Ridiculous Family"  - I do have many and my family can easily be label ridiculous....

So you wanna hear one more?

During remodeling (which has been a two year process), my husband was up in the attic while I was at work relaying insulation -before I finish the story, please put anything you are drinking down....

Did you put it down? Are you ready for this one?

He calls me and says,"I found a bunch of s&*t in the attic do you want it?"
Me: "What kind of s*%t?" 
Him: "Some Christmas ornaments, a box of other decorations and a painting."
Me:  A painting? hmmmmm....."what kind of painting?"  
Him: "I don't know it is a painting of some dude with a bunch of guys"
Me: A dude with a bunch of guys????? So I ask, "Are they at a long table with food on it?"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Are you serious? That is the Last Supper." thump (that was me falling off my chair when I realized I married a man with no clue)

Seriously, who besides my husband does not know that painting? Even if you are not religious at all you should know that painting.

And that my friends, is all for now.

So this is me

Okay so this is me, uncut, exposed, slightly compulsive with definite martyr tendencies....what makes me different from you, you ask? Not much hopefully. Hopefully you will find comfort in reading this, I will feel comfort in writing this and most importantly we will share some giggles along the way.

So how did I get to this point in my life? Wish I knew. What I do know is that I have arrived here, not sure I'm too happy about it and certainly not sure what is next. I'm a venter, a complainer, funny if you like a caustic, crass, certainly dry (maybe a tad bitter) woman. I'm also a wife, a mom to two girls, a Credit Union marketer, a chronic dieter, an avid recycler, an even more avid couponer and....to put it mildly, angry.

If I had to trace back to what went wrong I might initially blame the woman's lib movement - seriously ladies whose idea was this? Did these woman really think that the woman in the future would want to do it all? Could do it all? Really, seriously COME ON! This was not in our benefit! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a strong woman, a woman who doesn't need a man to do this or that - but in no uncertain way did I sign on for working full time, raising a family, keeping a house clean, a refrigerator full, paying bills, doing laundry and as you all know all to well how long the list is - the list we are expect to do with a smile, without a complaint and without (most times) a thank you.

Now, you might have read this far and you might be saying to yourself - this woman is just going to complain about the same things we all complain about - or maybe you don't complain about these things and either A) enjoy them B) don't enjoy them but just don't say anything or C) are heavily medicated and/or drink LOL. Okay, sorry, I digress. This "blog" if you will is just a snapshot of the daily trials and tribulations we all go through and my take on them, which again I hope you will be able to relate to and hopefully find funny.

Enjoy the ride my friends.......feel free to comment, share etc....

Audra